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I'm a sucker for a self-help book, and I thought I might be in for the same comforting, uplifting stuff I read year after year. Nope. Murphy goes beyond the well-worn, "Nod your head and don't interrupt." We know when we're being merely tolerated and not heard. Those speaking to us know when we are not interested. How to we reconnect and get interested again? Murphy's conversations with a former CIA chief interrogator are especially enlightening. Apparently thinking you know what someone is going to say kills your ability to hear and connect. Familiarity and assumption are both the enemy of listening.— Sissy
"Narrating her own work, Murphy is certainly worthy of the listener's attention. She offers a sincere, passionate voice that is capable of delivering some hard truths about the current state of things while also showing the way toward a truly connected society." — AudioFile Magazine
**This program is read by the author**
When was the last time you listened to someone, or someone really listened to you?
At work, we’re taught to lead the conversation.
On social media, we shape our personal narratives.
At parties, we talk over one another. So do our politicians.
We’re not listening.
And no one is listening to us.
Despite living in a world where technology allows constant digital communication and opportunities to connect, it seems no one is really listening or even knows how. And it’s making us lonelier, more isolated, and less tolerant than ever before. A listener by trade, New York Times contributor Kate Murphy wanted to know how we got here.
In this always illuminating and often humorous deep dive, Murphy explains why we’re not listening, what it’s doing to us, and how we can reverse the trend. She makes accessible the psychology, neuroscience, and sociology of listening while also introducing us to some of the best listeners out there (including a CIA agent, focus group moderator, bartender, radio producer, and top furniture salesman). Equal parts cultural observation, scientific exploration, and rousing call to action that's full of practical advice, You're Not Listening is to listening what Susan Cain's Quiet was to introversion. It’s time to stop talking and start listening.
"An essential book for our times." - Lori Gottlieb, New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone